When I was 19, I went to a women’s conference and heard 5 ladies sharing about their lives. I was deeply touched by their stories. Each woman had suffered immensely and overcame great hardships. I was struck by the beauty of these women and later came to the realization that: The most beautiful people are those who have seen great pain and suffering and come through wanting to help others. I wanted to be like these women.

That summer, I was helping my boss, Paula with a fashion show to benefit the Burleson pregnancy Aide Center. Afterwards, I started talking with her about how we could make the next year better. She had been struggling with cancer and wasn’t doing well. She looked at me and said, “I won’t be here next year.” The brevity of life hit me like a slap in the face. The last thing Paula said to me was, “I want to live. I want to see my boys grow up, I want to go to their weddings and hold their babies someday. I want to live. I want to live. I want to live.” I didn’t know what else to do except hold her.  There in her office, we cried in each others arms.

Not much time had passed, when seven people that I was close to died (all that summer). My grandmother (who I loved so much and lived with us growing up), my uncle (killed while on duty as a police officer), my boss Paula (who was like a mentor to me died from cancer), 3 close friends from high school (in a tragic car accident) and my dads best friend (motorcycle accident).

All I could do was ask myself, “What is life really about? I am going to die someday. What do I want to accomplish? Do I believe in God and if so why I am I not living like it?” I needed to be all in or out; to stop playing games and be real about what I believed. I knew that God was real, so decided to give Him 100%. I have not regretted this decision.

One day He told me, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” He asked me to mourn to Him and said that He wanted to comfort me, so I did. He covered my pain with His love and turned my mourning into compassion for others.  I asked God to not let my pain be for nothing and He has given me a great appreciation for life. I am now able to talk to others and say that their pain can serve a greater purpose.

I want to encourage you to not let your pain be for nothing. Let the fire of your trials refine you like gold into a more appreciative, understanding and compassionate person. Let your beauty come from the ashes. You will be one of the beautiful people.

Isaiah 61:1-3

1 The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.